GREAT HUSBAND, SUPER DAD

If you are like most men, part of your passion in life is to be a great husband to your wife and a super dad to your kids. From the Word of God, let me show you five things that you can do to help you succeed.

Number ONE: become a PARTNER

1st Peter 3:7 (NLT) says, “In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.”

Did you see the phrase that says, “she is your equal partner”? The only way your wife can be your partner is if you are there for her and with her. If you desire to be a great husband and a super dad – you must be present!

Sadly, there are a lot of children being raised by single moms. But there are also a lot of children who are being raised by their moms because dad’s too busy making extra money, and networking, and hunting, and playing golf, and fishing, and playing the stock market, and watching TV. When he does come home he’s too tired to be present.

Genesis 2:18 (NLT) says, “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.’”

Your wife is your “helper”, not your servant. Part of her responsibility in the marriage is to help you become a better man.

When Lynita and I were newly married we had a dinner party. After dinner, I was helping her wash the dishes and man, who was about ten years older than me, asked, “What are you doing?” I said, “I’m helping my wife.” He said, “You shouldn’t do that, she’s going to feel like you don’t need her.” I replied, “You’re NUTS!”

When I help my wife she doesn’t get the message that she’s not needed. Rather, she gets the message that I love and appreciate her.

We are partners, we help each other.

There are some times that you, as the head of your household, will have to make some hard decisions. But, here’s some really good advice, don’t ignore the voice of your wife. She may have some insight that you don’t have. She may know something that you don’t know.

Some men see themselves as the dictator of their home – they’re the big, bad boss and no one is going to tell them what to do. It would be better for them to see themselves as the king

and she is their queen.

Men, if you want to be a great husband and a super dad – learn how to be a PARTNER with your wife.

Number TWO: become a PROTECTOR

Jesus says in John 15:13 (NLT), “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” It sounds dangerous, and it might be.

Several years ago my wife woke me up in the middle of the night because there was a noise coming from downstairs. She wanted me to go check it out (I wanted to say, “I went last time.”) So, I grabbed our 38 revolver from the closet and began to tiptoe downstairs. I’ve never been in the military or law enforcement, so I did my best to imitate what I had seen on TV. As I got closer, the noise grew louder. It sounded like someone was stealing our dining room set. So, quickly, I rounded the corner and … whew, my wife’s robot vacuum cleaner had lodged under a dining room chair and was dragging it around the room. Nevertheless, my heart was still pumping and the adrenaline was still flowing. Needless to say, I ended that robot’s career.

Physically protecting our family is part of our responsibility, but it’s not the only thing we must do. We must also protect our family spiritually, theologically, emotionally and mentally.

Spiritually – recognize your family is in spiritual warfare. Whether we see it or not, the devil is continually attacking every Christian family. He attacks through the internet, TV, books, radio, music and more. Find a way to protect your family in these areas.

Theologically – there are a lot of bad interpretations of Scripture being passed around as revelation. Read and study your Bible so that you will be able to protect your family from errant theology.

Emotionally – families can get overwhelmed with the stress of education, peer expectations, and careers. Protect your family by helping them carry this stress.

Mentally – the enemy wants to attack our thought processes. He wants us to be negative, pessimistic, derogatory. However, we can combat these mental attacks by choosing to be positive, optimistic and uplifting.

Protect your family from corruption, evil, fraud, stress, worry and more.

Sadly, there are a lot of weak men in our society who don’t provide protection for their wife or for their children. They don’t know how to stand up and fight. When things get tough they throw in the towel, they quit, they give up.

Don’t think that you have to fight everyone and everything that comes along, but you don’t have to run away from everything and everyone either. Learn to discern between which battles matter and which battles are worthless.

Not every battle is worth fighting. In fact, it may be that you can’t fight the battles that are worth fighting because you spent all of your energy on the worthless battles.

So, if you want to be a great husband and a super dad, choose to be a protector of your wife and children. Be a shield and let the trouble hit you instead of your home.

Number THREE: become a PROVIDER

The apostle Paul wrote in 1st Timothy 5:8 (NLT), “But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.”

These are strong words, but they’re biblical words – if you don’t take care of your family you are worse than a sinner.

To be a great husband and super dad is to be a giver.

Remember, a godly man is a giving man, because God is a giving God. Remember, one of the names of God is Jehovah-Jireh, meaning, “God is our provider.” So, if you want to be like God you need to be a giving man.

To be a generous man is more than giving money.

When Lynita and I were first married I was the primary breadwinner for our family. But, after she graduated from college, she was able to get a better job and earn some great promotions. By the time we were celebrating our fifth wedding anniversary she was making a lot more money than was I. I could have said, “She’s making better money, she doesn’t need my provision.” I could’ve quit my job and stayed home and played Mario Brothers. However, her income did not negate my responsibility to be a provider for her. Because being a provider isn’t always about money.

But, if you don’t have a job – GET A JOB! Get a job, show up to that job, and keep that job till you get a better job.

A good man does provide financially for his family, but that’s not all he provides. He should also provide a peaceful home, a unified home, a shoulder to lean on, wisdom and comfort.

Being a provider doesn’t mean I provide all of my family's “wants.” It means that I provide for their “needs.” There is a difference between their “wants” and their “needs.”

Being a provider means that often you will have to say “no” to their “wants” so that you can say “yes” to their “needs.”

Men, if you want to be a great husband and a super dad – be a PROVIDER!

Number FOUR: become a PROMOTER

1st Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT) says, “So encourage each other and build each other up …”

Inspire your family. Be their biggest cheerleader.

Why? Because the battle is not about you! Satan isn’t only trying to destroy you. He is trying to destroy you so that he can destroy your family. The enemy is hoping that he can get you to do something stupid so that he can use it to destroy your wife, or to destroy your kids.

Real men don’t talk down to their wives, they build them up. And they don’t talk down to their children, they build them up.

A good father tells their children what they can be … NOT what they can’t be.

Proverbs 22:6 (NLT) says, “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” In other words, show your children a better way.

When I was in high school a math teacher lost his temper and began to berate me in front of the entire class. He told me that I was worthless as a student, that I probably wouldn’t graduate, and even if I did, I would never go to college. He let me know that he thought that I was stupid, ignorant, and much worse.

My parents found out about it and quickly scheduled a “parent/teacher conference.” What I heard was my parents letting my teacher know that I was intelligent and not only was I going to graduate from high school, I was going to graduate from college.

I always knew that they believed in me, but that just took it up another level.

If you want to be a great husband and a super dad, praise your family to them and to anyone else who will listen.

Number FIVE: become a PRIEST

The apostle Peter in his first letter to the church – 1st Peter 2:5 – calls us “holy priests.” In other words, we are spiritual leaders.

Truly godly men are spiritual leaders in their home. They are the priest of their house.

Your wife may be the greatest prayer warrior to ever walk this planet – that does not mean that you get a pass.

The apostle Paul wrote to the young man Timothy … 1st Timothy 2:8 (KJV), “I will therefore that men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting.”

Your pastor prays for your family. But there is no one who can better pray for your family than you.

When my son was little, he didn’t like for me to pray for him, because he wanted to do it himself. He’s always been fiercely independent, and I like that about him. But I’m his dad and I’m the priest of my home and so, after he was asleep I would sneak into his room and pray for him. And, I still do it!

Men – if you want to be a great husband and a super dad, become the priest of your house and lead your family to church. Every week – The question should not be, “Are we going to church?” The question should be, “What time are we leaving for church?”

You may think, “Well, I don’t need to go to church every week.” If that’s what you think, it means that you don’t really realize what’s at stake – your eternal soul, your wife’s eternal soul, your children’s eternal souls.

Be a priest, pray over your family and lead them to church. Why, because you are in spiritual warfare. Whether you realize or you not, your home is under a spiritual attack. But here’s a promise from God …

To be a great husband and a super dad, aim to be a protector, a provider, a partner and a priest for your home.